Not With A Bang But A Whimper
Today someone very special is taking his last final exam to complete his college degree. He has worked very diligently to earn a computer science degree from Wheaton College, graduating a semester ahead of schedule. Sadly there is no December graduation ceremony, so he will walk in cap and gown next May. It seems anticlimactic; his friends are heading off for the holiday break while he is packing his belongings into his car and driving home. It reminds me of the last two lines of T.S. Eliot's poem, The Hollow Men:
This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper.
The general overtone of the poem is quite cynical and pessimistic, and certainly does not apply to this situation. However, those last two lines have been flying around in my head for days, like a hawk, circling and soaring. In place of a celebration, I guess we will have to settle for verbal bouquets tossed from a proud mother to her youngest child.
Recently, his dad and I settled on this description of our son: he has always been under-the-radar. Derek has an easy, adaptable personality which sometimes masks the level of inner drive and perspective that is present. For a 21 year old, he has put much thought into his future. Along with his computer science major, he almost earned a minor in philosophy. A number of his friends are philosophy majors; I think he wanted to take classes with them and I also think that he enjoys animated analytical conversations (also known as arguing) with said comrades. Derek has some exciting travel plans in the new year, followed by a great job in Seattle. And there are more educational aspirations on his horizon as well.
That Derek would choose an IT career, surprises us not one little bit. From toddler days, he has had an obsession with the keyboard (computer and musical) and video games.
Our family jokes about how hard I tried to keep Derek from spending too much time on line. I fought a desperate, losing battle, from a set number of hours on the computer each week, to having to earn the right to play video games with reading and chores. In middle school, I would allow him to be on the computer until 9 pm, and then he would have to do homework and go to bed. One night, around midnight, I heard a noise downstairs in the study; it was Derek, who had waited until we were all asleep, and then crept back to the computer, to play games to his heart's content. I was not smart enough to keep him out with parental locks, so the next day, I paid a visit to Ace Hardware. As I described the size of chain that I needed for the knobs on the computer cabinet, the kind salesman's eyes widened. He had a crazy woman on his hands. For some months, this chain and padlock restored my control. Derek had the curtesy recently, to tell me that I did the right thing, in helping him discipline his computer gaming time.
Derek, I have been so privileged to be your mother! (Cue the music; this is where your life flashes before your eyes).
Dad and I were so proud of your high school accomplishments!
Wheaton College was the next stop, with a little encouragement from fellow student Lauren.
I am SO very proud of you, Derek!
The Harmony of His Life
There's an anthem in the forming
Sweet notes played throughout young years:
I have heard it through your childhood
In your heart, I see God's song.
Many verses yet unwritten
But the theme, I know by heart;
Kindness, Gratitude and Joy
I've heard since you were my little boy.
Gifted by the Great Composer
In your soul a melody rings;
You bring out the best in others
Calm and Smile and Friendship flower.
In the concert hall of life
When the spotlight shines on you;
Clapping hands may taint your anthem
But take to heart these notes of truth:
Play, my son, play with abandon, for an audience of One.
Here is Derek's last time singing with the Wheaton Thundertones.