At four, I was newly fatherless, one of many kids, finding my balance in a shifting world. 

At fourteen, I was a high school freshman, and caregiver, along with my siblings, to an invalid mother, and wandered what life was ahead of me. My heart was full of desire for so much more!

At twenty-four, I was a wife and a college student, working toward a nursing degree. This was freedom, to pursue goals and aspirations, and have the external me, mirror my inside world.

At thirty-four, I was mother to three children; my heart and life were very full! To love a child is to forever walk around with your heart on your sleeve. 

At forty-four, my kids were growing, becoming independent individuals, stretching me. How strange for these little persons, who started out totally needing me, to begin pushing away. 

And here I am at fifty-four: mother of adult children, wife to a man I am still crazy about, sister, friend, chef, hospitality director (I just made that up, but it kinda sorta fits), and would-be writer. It is quite odd to see one's life charted out, in ten year increments. I truthfully don't physically feel different than I did thirty years ago, but the mirror won't let me lie. The moments in life creep along, but the years speed by.

Here is what I hope is true about me today. I savor each day, and the joys that can be found in it. The longer you live, the more you realize how fragile life is, and that we are not promised tomorrow. The great philosopher, Kung Fu Panda, said it best: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift, and that's why it is called the present." Most days Larry and I have dinner like the Italians: we linger and enjoy. 

I treasure friendships. Friends are not expendable, but are gifts that need tending, time, and listening ears. Is there anything sweeter in life, than someone who knows you and loves you and "gets" you?! A true friend is like a rare gem. To have someone share the high points, the hardships, and the mundane is like being wrapped in a soft, fleece blanket, on a cold day. 

And I hope I am more accepting and less judgmental. You never know what someone is dealing with in their life, until you've walked a mile in their shoes. I try to remind myself of these wise words I heard years ago: "We judge others by their actions, but judge ourselves by our motives." I want to be the one who extends grace and a helping hand. 

And finally, I like being fifty-four because I have a confidence that wasn't there earlier in my life. I know who I am and am happy in my own skin. I think this self knowledge is one of the great boons of reaching middle years; you worry less and enjoy more. Life is sweet.