You knew it was coming! I know that you have been waiting for it! When a domestic goddess wants to pull out all the stops and go for the gold, what does she make, you ask? Why she simply whips out a batch of cinnamon rolls, four dozen deep, without breaking a sweat: yeast bubbling, flour flying, butter gliding, nuts grinding, cinnamon sprinkling, kneading, rising, rolling, cutting, rising, baking, and then all those rolled up babies nestled under a thick coverlet of cream cheese frosting. It is love in a pan, eaten purely for pleasure, since there is no nutritional value in these buns. Wait, they have pecans inside. Yeah! Nuts mean protein!! And did you know that after much scientific study, the smell of freshly baked cinnamon rolls ranks near the top of scents that males find most alluring? And no, smart alec, that wasn't just a study of Mennonite men. And how are these pastries best consumed? Should you bite right in, or start at an edge and slowly unwind the roll, eating as you go, saving that coveted center for last? Calm down! This batch of cinnamon rolls is history. Since these darlings only emerge from my kitchen several times a year, I arrange to disperse them through a complex lottery system. Don't worry if you are not in the system; there is a short, ten year wait to get your name into the drawing. Sadly for you though, I have ultimate veto power and yes, bribes of kindness are keenly noted. Those of you who know me are aware that sometimes I tell the truth. And the truth is that yes, last Saturday, I made 48 cinnamon rolls and gave most of them away. I am now going to divulge the secret recipe for these yeasty, clouds of wonder. Warning: there are so many steps and ingredients that after reading about the process, you may be fatigued to the point of needing a nap (or a cinnamon roll fix).
The Dough
Dough
1 c. very warm water
4 Tbsp. yeast
2 Tbsp. sugar
1 c. butter
3 c. milk
1 c. sugar
4 tsp. salt
4 large eggs
2 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar
12+ c. all purpose flour
In a large, glass bowl, whisk together the water, yeast and 2 Tbsp. sugar. Set aside. In a saucepan, slowly heat together the butter, milk, sugar, and salt until the butter is melted. Remove from heat and let the mixture cool to lukewarm. With a large electric mixer, beat the eggs. Add the vinegar and the cooled milk mixture. (I know vinegar seems like an odd ingredient, but I think it assists with higher rising of the dough and improves dough consistency). On low speed, beat in 4 cups of flour, one cup at a time. Mix in bubbling yeast and water. Measure out remaining 8 cups of flour into a bowl and add some slowly, mixing on a low speed until incorporated, before adding more. The last several cups of flour will need to be kneaded in by hand, keeping your hands floured to prevent the dough from sticking to them. You want a slightly sticky dough at the end, but you may need to add just a little extra flour to make it manageable. Using vegetable oil, grease a large bowl, add the dough and oil the top of it as well. Cover with a cloth and allow to rise until doubled in size, 1 1/2 to 2 hours. The next step of rolling out and filling takes some preparation; I go ahead and get all this ready so that when the dough is risen, I am good to go.
The Filling
Filling
1 1/2 c. melted butter
3 c. light brown sugar
2 c. chopped pecans
3 Tbsp. cinnamon
Preemptively prepare pans to place the cut rolls in. I generally use disposable tin ones since most of mine are given away. 9 x 13 inch cake pans hold 8 rolls and 8 x 8 inch hold 4 each. You will end up with 48 rolls so determine how many of which size you will use and spray them with cooking spray.
Gently punch the dough down and divide it equally into thirds. On a well greased countertop, roll each piece of dough into a rectangular shape of 20 x 14 inches. Carefully spread 1/2 cup melted butter onto each of the three dough rectangles, getting the butter quite close to the edges without going over. Next sprinkle 1 cup of brown sugar on each sheet of dough, and then sprinkle each evenly with about 1 Tbsp. of cinnamon. Finally, divide the coarsely chopped pecans between the three. Now its time to roll up the rolls. Working gently with both hands, work the dough into logs, rolling the longest side (20 inch one). Use a large serrated knife to cut each log into 16 pieces, about 1 1/4 inch per roll. Use a light pressured sawing motion rather than mashing down on the knife. Fill the pans with the allotted number of pastries. Cover with a cloth and allow to rise until double in size, 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Bake the pans in a preheated oven on convection bake 325 for 15 minutes. Allow the pans of rolls to cool.
The Frosting
Frosting
1 c. butter, softened to room temperature
8 oz. block cream cheese, softened to room temperature
8 c. powdered sugar, sifted if it has any lumps in it (that is two 1 lb. boxes)
4 Tbsp. half and half (fine to use milk if you prefer)
2 tsp. vanilla
1/4 tsp. salt
With an electric mixer, beat together the butter and cream cheese until light and fluffy. Add the vanilla, salt and half and half and beat well to combine. Add the powdered sugar slowly on a lower speed. Beat well at a higher speed to incorporate all the sugar and produce a fluffy frosting. You can add a smidge more half and half if the frosting seems too thick.
You are about to spread that luscious, creamy frosting as the crowning touch on your delectable cinnamon rolls. Please be respectful; change out of your grungy T-shirt and find something more suitable for the occasion, like a fancy dress, make-up and pearls. And if you can recruit your cute, busy husband to help finish up, so much the better. (I find this version much more interesting than needing to leave for a wedding and being short on time)!
"Can't you feel the love tonight?"