Larry and I chose to be poor during our early years of marriage; perhaps that is a misnomer. It was really all about delayed gratification. Larry worked various jobs during his years of undergraduate study, so that when we married, two weeks after his graduation from Malone College, he owed no money on his education, despite having to foot the bill himself. We knew that was only the beginning. Our goals included a four year college degree for me and either a PhD or an MD for him. Despite the lack of encouragement from our subculture, we were those kids who were going to get an education no matter what.
Our first year of marriage was spent in Sarasota, Florida, with Larry teaching middle and high school math and science, while applying to med schools and PhD programs. I attended a junior college and worked as a waitress. Hating the thought of being in debt, but realizing that with medical school, debt would be unavoidable, we socked as much money away as we could. Many evenings, Larry and I traded in our teacher and college student hats for condo cleaner head gear; it was something we could do together and it was quick money. Larry spent the summer working as the mud boy on his brother-in-law Mike's mason crew.
That summer, Larry received acceptance into Wright State School of Medicine, in Dayton, Ohio. We would be moving by late August. Since we were in Florida, we chose not to spend the money on a trip to Dayton to look for an apartment. Instead, we asked Larry's parents to drive the three hours from their home in northeast Ohio, and find us a place to live. They looked at apartments for the day and then got dinner at a local restaurant. Ralph never knew a stranger, and soon struck up a conversation with another restaurant patron, a single fellow. This guy knew an older couple from his church who wintered in Florida and were looking for someone to housesit their Dayton home for the winter. So Ralph and Sarah signed us up to move in with the Hills for the overlapping six weeks that school started and before they left for Florida. Once they were gone, we would take care of their house until the spring when they returned.
We bought a used Toyota Tercel, loaded up a U Haul trailer with all our earthly possessions, and left Sarasota, bound for Dayton.
I still cannot quite wrap my mind around the fact that we moved in with this elderly couple, whom we had never met, and lived with them for 1 1/2 months, before we had their place to ourselves for the winter!
We plunged ourselves into our studies, overjoyed to be in a position of learning! We were able to make it through the first semester without the dreaded student loans, using the money we had saved up, and the money we saved by not having to pay rent. Most of my college was paid for with PELL grants (government assistance for those with low enough income), and I was able to work some as well. By the next year, we were in an apartment and needing to initiate those student loans, for Larry's tuition and for general cost of living.
We lived as meagerly as possible, so as not to borrow anymore than necessary. During the summer months, Larry mowed the grass for the landlord, so we could deduct $20 from each month's rent. We furnished our three room apartment with second hand furniture from the goodwill store. When winter came and we saw how much we would spend in this old, drafty place for heat, we took matters into our own hands. We taped up plastic over the inside of the windows for extra insulation, purchased a small kerosene heater, turned off the pilot light for the apartment heater (saved us $10 a month!), closed off our bedroom, and slept instead on the pullout sofa bed in the living room. The kerosene heater provided warmth for about a ten foot radius. Evenings we would both sit in our beanbag, in front of the heater, to study. The kitchen stayed marginally warm from using the stove and oven. We would dash into the bedroom each morning to grab our clothes. One night we left a glass of water on the dresser and the next morning it was ice!
Believe me though, when I say that we did not mind or feel hugely inconvenienced. It was like a long camping trip on our life path to fulfill our dreams. And the generosity of family and friends cannot be overlooked. Dave and Linda Beachy gave us their old car, when they got another one. We drove that Cutlass Supreme for many years. Frequently there would be a $20 check in the mail, from Larry's sister, Linda, just to help us out. Our friends in Dayton generously donated to our cause: when our couples' group went to a weekend marriage seminar in Chicago, they paid our way so we could go too. Brian and Nancy gave us $500 to buy a brand new bed. Phil and Julee let us store all our stuff in their basement, during the final year of medical school, when we moved out of our apartment and went to India for 3 months. We worked and traveled there for just a few dollars a day. And Jim and Lori let us live in their basement for a few weeks when we returned.
It is very humbling to be on the receiving end of things. When we find ourselves now in a position to help some young person, we tell them that we are just passing along the kindness that was shown to us when we needed help. And someday, they will be able to extend the circle of generosity.
I am sure you are assuming that I have gotten totally sidetracked, given the title of this blog. Not to worry: I've only been setting the stage. Larry has always idealized Wheaton College. He even applied to transfer there during undergrad. Not only was he not accepted, he could not have afforded it had he gotten in. In his dreams, he would have also sung in the Wheaton College Men's Glee Club. One Sunday evening, the Men's Glee Club gave a concert at our church in Dayton. Larry was beyond excited to hear them in person! They had a table set up in the church foyer, with cassette tapes of their performances for sale for $10 each. After the concert, I saw Larry making his way to the table, but I knew a purchase was out of the question. We had two more weeks until the end of the month, when we could access our next student loan and we had $20 to live on until then; that included gas, food, everything. I watched in horror as Larry, who was always so frugal with expenses, gave half of that $20 for a cassette tape recording of The Wheaton College Men's Glee Club! We ate a lot of potatoes for the next two weeks, but Larry was so happy with that cassette tape, it was worth it.
We made it through those four, lean, years and moved away from Dayton with diplomas in our hands and wonderful memories to warm our hearts.
Several years ago, I pulled out this cassette tape, and told our son, Derek, the story. It seemed fitting that he should know, since he now sings in the Wheaton College Men's Glee Club.
